| When crossing into Texas from any enemy state | | | | 3.) Drive courteously and always wave at every |
| (i.e. any other state) you are entering not just | | | | truck you meet. Don't complain about the |
| another colored area on your map, but rather an | | | | underpass u-turn lane that spins you off into the |
| iconic and dreamlike panorama of the old west | | | | opposite direction. If at all possible, exchange your |
| drenched in new oil. Visitors are at once | | | | vehicle for a dually pickup truck or a white |
| impressed by the wide, smooth highways that | | | | Escalade, or at least follow along behind one. |
| suddenly manifest beneath their automobiles at | | | | 4.) Eat what's give ya'. If it isn't flattened, floured, |
| the state line. They enjoy unusually high speed | | | | and fried, do not order it (exception: BBQ). Never |
| limits as they whiz past charming ranch vistas and | | | | ask the waitress to hold the jalapeno peppers. |
| futuristic city skylines. While visiting this friendly | | | | Look upon brightly colored cocktails and blender |
| and beautiful realm, visitors are more than happy | | | | drinks with disdain, and also spit after any mention |
| to embrace and emulate the excessive | | | | of same. |
| personality of such a colorful place. Everything is | | | | 5.) Accept that all radio stations are going to play |
| bigger in Texas, even our visitors! Here are a few | | | | country music sooner or later. If listening to your |
| fun ways to fit in and git along: | | | | citified cd's, it's probably best if you leave your |
| 1.) Talk Texan. To help you to get the most out | | | | windows rolled up at stop signs. |
| of your Texas visit, here are a few key words | | | | 6.) Enjoy all the unique sights, sounds, and tastes |
| and phrases to assist you. | | | | of our beautiful and friendly state. You might want |
| Whale hail -- Appropriate expression if you lock | | | | to check out: |
| your keys in your car. | | | | America's largest state fair, the State Fair of |
| Hot dam -- Appropriate expression when you get | | | | Texas at Dallas. |
| your car door unlocked. | | | | New Dallas Cowboys Stadium, Dallas. |
| Dadgummit -- Stronger than shucks and dangit. | | | | The Alamo/San Antonio River Walk/The Mercado. |
| Fixin' to -- This is what Texans are doing at all | | | | Houston Space Center. |
| times. | | | | Big Bend National Park. |
| A'runnin' -- All verbs are preceded by "a" and the | | | | South Padre Island / Galveston fishing. |
| "g" is silent. Such as a'goin, a'drivin, or a'waitin. | | | | Forbidden Gardens Chinese Cultural Museum, Katy. |
| 2). Look the Part. Men must wear either a baseball | | | | See the recreated terra cotta warriors and more. |
| cap or a cowboy hat. Period. Ladies, you know | | | | Big Texan Steak Ranch, Amarillo. Eat a 4.5 pound |
| what to do: rat, puff, and cement your hair with | | | | steak (and fixin's) in less than an hour and it's free! |
| 80 mph hairspray. Either gender may wear | | | | Windmill Museum and Prairie Dog Town, Lubbock. |
| cowboy boots, but neither may wear shoes with | | | | And ya'll come back, now, hear? |
| tassels of any kind. | | | | |